On Wednesday, President Barack Obama’s economic stimulus package passed in the House of Representatives by a vote of 244-180. According to Obama, the historic legislation will spend over $800 billion to “save or create more than three million new jobs over the next few years.” While I have no idea whether that is true not, I do wonder what it would be like if I could spend $800 billion to improve some of my favorite Southern California sports teams. Here is what I would do.

1. Give Manny Ramirez a long term deal to become a member of the LA Angeles. I know about the baggage that he brings but it would be too hard to pass up arguably the greatest clutch hitter of this generation.

2. Actually build a new football stadium in Los Angeles so the Rams could return to their rightful location in the City of Angels. Throwing money at Ed Roski’s plan might be the best way to make that happen.

3. Move the Clippers to Orange County. No offense to Clippers Nation but I think it would be far more beneficial if they played their home games at the Honda Center as opposed to Staples Center. In Anaheim, they would simply split the facility with the Ducks and wouldn’t have to share with ten other teams. They’d also be far more capable of attracting an OC fan base much like the Angels have done with the Orange County and Inland Empire baseball fans.

4. Build an LA sports hall of fame near Staples Center and LA Live. There is a lot of construction downtown so why not build something to honor the great Los Angeles athletes and coaches as well.

5. Build an on campus football stadium for UCLA. It’s time for the Bruins to realize that the Rose Bowl is owned by USC and they should have a 40,000 seat stadium so maybe they could sell out for once.

6. Raise a Sasha Vujacic statue, made out of pure gold, outside of Staples Center. Why? Because he’s “The Machine” and the greatest Laker of all-time next to the Mad Dog, Mark Madsen.

7. Give Al Davis $15 billion just to retire. I don’t even like the Raiders but watching Alzheimer Al run the show in Oakland is an embarrassment to the National Football League and Raider Nation.

8. Move the Big A at Angel Stadium to left center field. It’s darn near impossible to see it when it’s tucked away in the parking lot behind the stadium. That way maybe the fans could actually see it. 

9. If the MLS didn’t have a salary cap, than I’d spend billions to turn the Galaxy into the greatest soccer team in the globe by signing guys like Ronaldinho and Wayne Ronney. How could you turn down a $5 billion deal.

10. Give Phil Jackson enough money to coach the Lakers for life.

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